if i was a ghost id help little kids with math and throw vases at mean people
May you have enough money to pay your bills this month with a little extra left over for a bit of fun.
This is one of the nicest things to wish for someone
TACO NEEDS TO KEEP HIS LITTLE MOUTH SHUT
Sometimes it takes a good fall to really know where you stand
When women get behind something, their sheer numbers and passion force it into the mainstream. That’s why you can name the actor who plays that werewolf kid in “Twilight” and probably sing at least the chorus to one Justin Bieber song. What do tween boys like? I have no clue. Sports? Probably sports.
1. Don’t try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you’re knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It’ll make life a lot easier.
2. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Talk about it with your friends. You’ve got the right to make yourself feel good and brag about it just like all the boys with extra large kleenex packages on their desks.
3. If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of, just human. Don’t ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.
4. Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.
5. Fart when you have to.
6. Always remember you weren’t born to visually please others. Forget the phrase “what if they think it’s ugly”. If you think it’s lovely, it is lovely. You wanna wear it, wear it!
7. Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people’s throats.
Click here to watch Jon Stewart discuss the child immigration debate.
Date a guy who is tall, dark and handsome. Date a guy with tattoos. Date a guy with flawless eyeliner. Date a guy who is so tall he can lift you up onto the horse he just gave you. Date Khal Drogo.