1. Don’t try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you’re knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It’ll make life a lot easier.
2. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Talk about it with your friends. You’ve got the right to make yourself feel good and brag about it just like all the boys with extra large kleenex packages on their desks.
3. If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of, just human. Don’t ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.
4. Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.
5. Fart when you have to.
6. Always remember you weren’t born to visually please others. Forget the phrase “what if they think it’s ugly”. If you think it’s lovely, it is lovely. You wanna wear it, wear it!
7. Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people’s throats.
Click here to watch Jon Stewart discuss the child immigration debate.
Date a guy who is tall, dark and handsome. Date a guy with tattoos. Date a guy with flawless eyeliner. Date a guy who is so tall he can lift you up onto the horse he just gave you. Date Khal Drogo.
Stay single until someone actually compliments your life in a way that makes it better not to be single. If not, it’s not worth it.
why do white people think having a confederate flag anywhere on your property screams anything other than “im a blatant racist and slavery was cool”
i always wear my cutest clothes to the airport because what if i sit next to a young rich spoiled heir to his father’s company that unexpectedly falls in love with the poor student
all i ever say is “ugh” because it can show confusion, lust, disgust and contempt, and that’s pretty much my life
I apologize to everyone whose grammar I ever corrected before I learned not to be a tool.
You’re… really sweet to do that. Thanks.
“Please, don’t worry so much. Because in the end, none of us have very long on this Earth. Life is fleeting. And if you’re ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day, make a wish, and think of me. Make your life spectacular.” -Robin Williams in “jack”
The real problem with books-turned-movies isn’t “omg they didn’t include every single word in the book” it’s “omg they completely overlooked the main theme, threw out any significant allegories, took away all the emotional pull, an turned it into a boring action movie with a love triangle in it”